Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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