its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
