It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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