now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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