just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
This baby is an asshole
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
