Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
