that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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