This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Randomize
