Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
