soooo we both peed the bed last night...
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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