I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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