youre lurking in front of me
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
