I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Randomize
