I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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