Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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