He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
