what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
