Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
this boner is exhausting
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
