Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
