She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
you win again, gameday.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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