Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
