if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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