This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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