dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Boobs are out for the taking
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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