i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
