Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
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