white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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