I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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