i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
