Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
