One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
