he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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