ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
