If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
