i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Randomize
