these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
