I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
