I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
