Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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