Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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