She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
