she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
