Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize
