what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
