I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
