Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize