okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize