He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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