It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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