I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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