I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i dont even know how to be here
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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