I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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