Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
