she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Randomize
