I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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