I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
