Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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