She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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