like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Randomize
