So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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