this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
